NOTE: All of this is merely a parody of the real 'Twimandments'. Some of the 'Twimandments' listed below are taken from another source (the ones with an asterisk next to them, like this: *).
Enjoy! >:DTwimandments (of Thy True
1) Thou shalt dress in only black and vampire fangs every day to get laughed at on the street and make them pay you for the comedy. (cullenists way of earning livelihood)
2) Thou shalt not read another book, for we are too demented and mentally challenged to pry our eyes away from Twilight.
3) Thou shalt want to
marry rape a fictional character.*
4) Thou shalt drink a red liquid and say that it's blood and get laughed at because thou will look moron doing it. *
5) Thou shalt shop at Hot Topic and love it. *
6) Thou shalt dunk thyself in sparkles and claim that you are a Meyerpire. And dowse glitter in thy nook and crannies as a significance for Cullens bringing a shame to vampire community.
7) Thou shalt make crappy poetry and pass it off as a world class masterpiece.
8) Thou shalt ruin nonconformity once more. *
9) Thou shalt attack random people and claim you have an uncontrollable bloodlust like the
God Dog Jasper. *
10) Thou shalt smite or convert non-believers of this
11) Thou shalt act as if thou art
moody<s/> useless and <s>edgy itchy, while thou truly art happy</s> constipated.
12) Thou shalt only dine on red apples and a red liquid saying it's blood and die of starvation.
13) Thou shalt plant red and white feather flowers.*( which doesn't exist)
14) Thou shalt wear red ribbons and cut off thy circulation.*
15) Thou shalt defile chess.*
16) Thou shalt make themselves look like douches by engaging in meaningless arguments on how thy True Series is the ONLY truth, and thou shall make stupid war on those who have a sense of humor towards the Series.
17) If thou are a true female believer (or a male gay for disco balls), thou shalt want Eddiekins holy sparkle penis.*18) Thou shalt neglect thy children and thy life by devoting thyself to the TwiMom Path.
19) Thou shalt attend high school over and over and over and over again.*
20) Thou shalt make other people rich instead of thyself by buying lots of Twilight Series garbage.*