Most Creeperists masturbate on their own, as we are reviled throughout the world. Proper heresy requires a copy of Deadward's pentagram, which can be printed off of our Wiki and burned in the woods by half-naked werewolves.
We hold no formal service, but observe Friday the 13th as our day of worship. We do this by reciting our Stoned Prayer first thing in the morning, and then reading from at least ONE of the four Shitty Cashgrabs at least once during the day. The Stoned Prayer is then repeated before turning in for the evening.
Cullenist Excrements[]
Excrement of Worst Reading~ The first step toward being corrupted by Creeperism. A heretic must complete a full reading of all four pornos.
Excrement of Questions Nobody Asked~ Through a boring reading of the that sttupid Encyclopedia Stephenie Meyer wrote when she needed more money, a heretic answers questions nobody cared about.
Excrement of Declaration~ Every Creeperist must affirm their debilitating mental illness through a public recitation of the following prayer:
I am a Creepist. With hate and spite, I drool over the crazed whore Stephenie Meyer, praising her for her crappy masturbation fuel.
I drool over Dr. Acula, our fuehrer, blindly praising him for being a doormat an letting his kids get away with murder.
I drool over Deadward, our monster and fuck toy. I French kiss him for his horniness and abusive tendencies.
I drool over Smella, our fappy reader insert and bitch. I stupidly imitate her shallowness and self-destruction.
I drool over our other teachers; Vanilla Mom for... some reason I can't remember (useless bitch), Alien for her wonky superpowers and bimboishness, Harpo for his grimacing and bad perm, Necro-Barbie for having to put up with a bitch like Smella, and Antbrain for his hawt muscles and lack of brain. I am a Creeperist.
Excrement of Tourist Traps~ Every Creeperist, at least once in their lifetime, must make a pilgrimage to our most tacky tourist trap of Forks, Washington.
Excrement of Gilligan's Island~ Creeperists who marry or take a sex slave can choose to have their lust cursed through a pilgrimage to that imaginary island from Breaking Dawn. Good luck finding it.
Sacrament of Flame War~ Creeperists must mildly irritate every non-believer with their squawking, only to b trolled in return.